An illusion

[river_one]

I'm experiencing some dizziness and panic on the open highway, I feel overly concerned with what's going behind me, looking to much in the rear view mirror. And have trouble reaching the same speed that I can do on a narrower road. Rich has coined this an illusion. At first I did not accept that definition and tried to prove that there are real dangers on the highway that are causing my extra fear. But, I am beginning to agree that its just an illusion. I have a good grip on the movement of the car and if I can control it on a winding road, it should be that much easier on an open road with plenty of room around. I am doing much better all the time, but still frustrated with my fears. I am actually enjoying driving which I guess I would have thought imposable a month ago. I would like to feel free to get on a highway without thinking how far the next exit is and when can I get off. I would also like to be able to drive without thinking about what the drivers behind me are thinking about my driving.

[Rich-Admin]

It's a big step when you start to see the light :)

Good job.

[river_one]

I did a little better today. I am feeling much more comfortable on roads that I have done more then a couple of times recently. I looked a little less in the rear view mirror I mean less obsessively. Sometimes I see things from the corner of my eye like the poles of the roadside barrier passing by so quickly and I think (illusion) that that might cause me to become dizzy and I might loss control. It has never happened but the thoughts pop up.

[river_one]

Looking back on what I wrote over a month ago does give some perspective of my situation and accomplishments. I am not totally over this problem, but in comparison to then I am doing much better. I guess that part of being in the now, is being frustrated with the current situation. I have gone much farther but still feel uncomfortable with my driving on certain open roads. I can be driving 90kmh on a smaller winding road and then get onto a freeway and feel the urge to cut down to 70 or even 60kmh. I nearly don't encounter outright panic attacks that I had been experiencing. But I do get these winds of thought "OMG your moving so fast, hit the breaks". And then the scariest part is when I actually do hit the breaks and feel a sudden lost of control.

I think that the two main things that are bothering me now are:
1. Focusing too much in the movement behind me on the highway (especially at night, feeling bothered by the lights behind me).
2. My own "instinct" to hit the breaks suddenly when I realize that I am moving fast on the highway.

I'd be glad to hear what you think.

BTW - I do drive everyday.

[Rich-Admin]

It may seem simplistic, but if focusing on things behind you bothers you...then focus on something else...maybe even something positive! If anyone stared at the rear view mirror they'd feel weird from the multiple perspectives. It's kind of like someone spinning in circles and then yelling, "help...i'm dizzy!" Of course you are. Stop spinning.

Rich

[ecpdba]

FWIW, I have experienced something similar to this. I am concerned about the "room" around me as I drive and I get nervous when there is a lot of traffic(not enough room) or if there is no shoulder. One of the things that I have been using to compensate is something I learned when I was learning to drive.

It works like this:

Focus on a point in space several cars ahead of you as the center of your vision. Then all you need to do is concentrate on that point and anything that is occurring in front of you on the left or right of that point. Simply check your mirrors as needed, but not obsessively. Stay in the moment and don't worry about what is beside you or behind you unless you need to.

I am not completely over this yet either, but this is helping me. Hope it works for you as well.

Rich - Please jump in here and correct/add anything you think I missed. : )

Frank

[river_one]

Frank hi,

Thanks for sharing your feelings. I see a lot in common with my own problem. Rich is 100% I feel that I am spinning myself in circles. Kind of like obsessively forcing myself to be uncomfortable. The point of focusing my vision has had a lot to do with this problem. When the problem was really bad a few months ago, I realized that I was looking at the road right in front of the car and that would cause the illusion that I was moving very fast even though I was barely doing 60kmh.

I agree that I need to set my sights farther ahead. But, what do I do when my eyes drift to areas that cause this dizziness, like looking at the road to close to the front of the car or focusing in the rearview mirror? How do I get over obsessively looking in the wrong places?

[Rich-Admin]

That's one of the keys to the anxiety trick...it gets you to pay a lot of attention to unimportant things...

You get over obesessing by not trying to get over obessing...

You can't try real hard not to think about something...won't work. Be ok with obsessing. it's the trying not to that causes the problem. There's no reason to be looking at the road right in front of the car...it would make me dizzy too...but since that feeling bothers you, that's why you do it. Say "so what?" to it and in time you'll have to reason to keep trying to upset yourself.

[river_one]

I'm trying to pin point what is bothering me. I think that from time to time my focus "gets stuck" on a spot I am looking at and very quickly the spot gets closer to the car and I start hitting the brakes which all causes dizziness. I'm not sure how to avoid doing this, it kind of just happens. But, because it does, I am "afraid" to drive on a highway. Because I am afraid that it might happen there and if I hit the brakes I could cause an accident with a car behind me. I already understand that I am not going crazy (and knowing that makes me feel alot better), but still I am not happy about imagining strange things.

Rich, I think that you have said that the one thing that you can control is what you think. Is that right? If so, how does one go about controlling his thoughts? I mean isn't that the opposite of the pink elephant idea. That if you try not to think about it, you are going to think about nothing but it.

[Rich-Admin]

What do you think would happen if you said "so what?" and didn't hit the brakes?

You need to realize that what you're doing would make ANYONE dizzy, and because it bothers you is exactly what you keep doing it. It's just like when you have a scab...you don't pick or itch it if you want it to heal. You're hitting yourself in the head with a hammer and asking, "why does this hurt?", it would hurt anyone, stop hitting yourself. When you feel the urge to focus on something all the way to the car, then gently bring your attention to something else. Look for something blue...then red. Or look for out of state plates. Get back into the moment.

[river_one]

Again I'm doing so much better. Not totally healed yet, but, much better. Taking long drives, One and two hours. I am much much claimer, sometimes without noticing, picking up speeds that were far above my range and feeling comfortable. Then sometimes getting "flashbacks" of dizziness and hitting the brakes (a little). Sometimes (or most of the time) driving slower then permitted. But, usually feeling comfortable with that. Today I took some stretches of freeway that I had been avoiding and felt fine.

I'm still not where I want to be, but am getting closer.

[river_one]

Is feeling more comfortable driving up a hill then down and illusion too?

[Reina]

Hi River One,

This is strange as I have the same feeling, it is much worse for me going down hill seeing much more and going faster. I seem to have specific anxiety spots and one of them is going down this large hill. Going up is much less. I get a rush of adrenalin when going downhill thinking something is going to happen. This is when I use Rich's Anxiety Lie principle. If I am in a good mood, doesn't seem to bother me as much, however when I am tired and feel scared it is much worse. We seem to have same issue!

[Burwell]

I was building upon a theory the other day and I'm not sure if the "Geodetic Effect" is actually what ive been thinking about.. My question asks the age old question, what is time? With the sun as a centrally located mass in our solar system we on Earth orbit it around 67,000/mph - so therefore our physical location is constanty changing EVERY second.

[river_one]

I just realized that I have been a member of this forum for two years. For some long stretches I have not been active reading and posting but the fact is that I am still here. I have had great progress but also some set backs. For me healing is a slow process. I wish that it was quick and all that i needed was an answer, like the flip of a switch and I would be better. It seems that that is not going to happen. I have been doing talk therapy which has helped me learn much about myself and I have had some amazing breakthroughs some of which had immediate refections on my driving issues. That straighten my conclusion that my issues are emotional and not a type of sickness. Before I started the process of self learning I was totally not sure if the problem was simply that I was losing my mind or had some other type of sickness.