Pay Off???

[jaggyjake]

I hear people say that the behaviors you exhibit -good or bad - that there is some sort of personal pay off. I have always considered my fear of driving a bit selfish - sort of all about me - but for the life of me I cannot figure out what my pay off is - (maybe I just answered my own question) All I know is that I truly want to overcome this and I believe I can - still struggling though. How can this be a pay off????? Thanks for letting me vent.

[Rich-Admin]

It's usually a built in excuse for a bunch of possibilities...

Maybe you use it as an excuse to yourself or others not to reach for your potential and possibly fail...

Maybe it allows you to feel ok about not doing everything you know you COULD do...

Maybe it allows you to rely on others.

Put off getting married.

Having kids.

Seeing your family you secretly can't stand rather than standing up them.

Keeps you comfortable and "safe"....of course it's bullshit but it feels safe doesn't it?

Build in reason why you're not as successful as your siblings...or didn't get your Masters degree, or can't make more money...

That's off the top of my head....ok...Fathers Day today...I have to go hug my kids again...

Rich

[jaggyjake]

Thank you Rich!
Happy Father's Day!

[elderwanda]

I know this thread is a couple of months old, but that's alright.

I'm no expert, but I'm not convinced that there is always a pay-off, or a perceived pay-off.

I think sometimes the anxiety comes because it's part of our neurological make-up. Some people are prone to it, because that's the way our brains are wired. I don't think that's true for everyone, but I do think it's something to consider. Personally, I know I had anxieties when I was a wee, tiny thing, like two or three. and was never because of any specific reason. It was just the way I was wired.

But it turns out the brain is very plastic, and you can teach it new ways of doing things. I didn't even realize how much fear has ruled my life, because I've never known any different.

Just some food for thought. It might not be true for everyone, though.