BluebellGirl
07-12-2009, 12:22 PM
Hi,
I have been struggling with this fear for some time. I'm not a teenager. I put off driving for a number of years, primarily because I was in three car accidents as a kid. In most of those cases, I was with my brother and mother (once with my grandmother). The crackups had no effect on my mom or my brother, but they really shook me. When I turned 16 my mom basically forced me to get my permit and start learning. It was a disaster. I didn't crack up, but I keep freezing up behind the wheel. Anyway, I eventually decided not to drive. Fast forward some years, and I find myself living in a semi-rural neighborhood (no public transportation). And my mom is getting older and I need to be able to drive. In addition, I am changing careers. So I really need to drive.
I took my driving knowledge test last Friday and got everything right. Then my mom took me out on the road. The first day it was all right. We did basically straight road driving. But yesterday we started turning and I froze up like I did when I was a teen. I just get so frazzled when I have to do anything other than straight driving, and so far I have not gone above 25 miles per hour. My mom said she may not be able to teach me if I don't get over this, and she doesn't understand it at all. I can barely explain it. I'm all right for about five to ten minutes, then the road and everything around me develops a kind of surreal quality, and I feel I'm strangely outside myself. Like I'm driving but I'm not at the same time.
I don't know what to do. A part of me just wants to give up, but I can't, not really. I have no one to rely on but myself. I'm totally disgusted with myself but I can't shake the horrible fear I will crash or be sideswiped. And I don't know what to do when the surreal quality kicks in, or why it's happening. I'm having a terrible time. Can ANYONE suggest something to help, just a little? :cry:
I have been struggling with this fear for some time. I'm not a teenager. I put off driving for a number of years, primarily because I was in three car accidents as a kid. In most of those cases, I was with my brother and mother (once with my grandmother). The crackups had no effect on my mom or my brother, but they really shook me. When I turned 16 my mom basically forced me to get my permit and start learning. It was a disaster. I didn't crack up, but I keep freezing up behind the wheel. Anyway, I eventually decided not to drive. Fast forward some years, and I find myself living in a semi-rural neighborhood (no public transportation). And my mom is getting older and I need to be able to drive. In addition, I am changing careers. So I really need to drive.
I took my driving knowledge test last Friday and got everything right. Then my mom took me out on the road. The first day it was all right. We did basically straight road driving. But yesterday we started turning and I froze up like I did when I was a teen. I just get so frazzled when I have to do anything other than straight driving, and so far I have not gone above 25 miles per hour. My mom said she may not be able to teach me if I don't get over this, and she doesn't understand it at all. I can barely explain it. I'm all right for about five to ten minutes, then the road and everything around me develops a kind of surreal quality, and I feel I'm strangely outside myself. Like I'm driving but I'm not at the same time.
I don't know what to do. A part of me just wants to give up, but I can't, not really. I have no one to rely on but myself. I'm totally disgusted with myself but I can't shake the horrible fear I will crash or be sideswiped. And I don't know what to do when the surreal quality kicks in, or why it's happening. I'm having a terrible time. Can ANYONE suggest something to help, just a little? :cry: