elderwanda
08-20-2009, 09:55 PM
Hi there. I'm 42 and have just started the Fear of Driving Program. So far, so good. But, as in just about everything else in life, it seems to be geared toward someone very different from myself.
I'm a fairly intelligent person, but there are a few things that my brain has trouble with. I'm not just say this to be silly, or to put myself down; it's a fact. I have trouble processing visual clutter and movement, for one thing. For instance, if I'm driving along, and I'm looking towards the place where I will need to turn soon, and I see some traffic cones, it's hard for me to tell if the cones are blocking my road, or off to the side, or what. Also, I have slow reflexes. So, it takes ALL of my concentration to figure out what's happening and to make the correct, safe choices.
We have a lot of roads around here where you come up to an intersection and it looks like you are supposed to make a simple left turn, but when you get there, you see that it isn't 100% clear which lane to get into, and there's a possibility of accidentally going into oncoming traffic. That probably sounds stupid if you are just picturing some basic intersection in a small town, but I get confused by all of the stuff around me. In fact, I can't even be a passenger in a car in downtown San Francisco without getting all kind of dizzy and discombobulated, because there is SO MUCH visual clutter; it's hard to see where the road goes and where the traffic lights are, let alone stay in your correct lane and not end up being forced off into some place you didn't want to go.
Also, this might sound weird, so I suppose I ought to point out that I'm very mildly autistic, because maybe other people don't experience this--but when I'm driving (and in life in general) I tend to feel like I'm in a bubble. Like I'm in a fish tank, looking out at the world. Sometimes I feel like that more than other times, but always to some extent. Now, I can be driving along, and everything is just fine, and then all of a sudden, sometimes for no discernible reason, I become very aware of that in-the-bubble feeling, and I begin to doubt my ability to process, and react to, this huge amount of external stimuli. The more traffic there is, with cars, pedestrians, right-turn-on-red, left-turn arrows, and all that stuff, the more I begin to doubt my ability to operated my vehicle safely and go where I need to go.
Obviously the program is geared toward a more typical person, but maybe someone out there will relate to this. I understand that getting a derealization feeling is a symptom of anxiety. But when I dig deep and try to get to the core of my personal driving anxieties, I realize that in my personal case, it's the other way around. I get anxious because I become aware of having that feeling, and I realize that it's not conducive to safe driving. My natural state is kind of disconnected, and for years I never gave it a second thought, when I was driving in a small rural area. It's very difficult for me to focus on many different things, and if it becomes too much for me, I tend to zone out and start thinking of Sweeney Todd or something. I'm afraid of that happening while I drive. Although I suppose that would make me like every other person on the road, paying attention to anything but their driving.
Which leads me to one little, teeny, miniscule gripe about the program. It's just a trifle, but I don't see any place in the entire program that acknowledges that you need to operate your vehicle safely and pay attention. I'm sorry, but if I'm on the freeway, and some bozo is driving along side me (here in the Bay Area, we drive up close and personal with each other), I do NOT want him to be doing relaxing neck rolls and dreaming of the waves washing over him. I want him to be looking where the bleep he's going, and being alert and cautious.
Anyway, that's way too much waffling for an introduction. Just wanted to expose myself for the weirdo I am, and say hello to everyone. Cool program so far, for the most part. Rich, I like the audio version. You have a nice, relaxing voice, so that works well. The bi-whatsit-subliminal audio thingy is weird, though. Don't listen to it when you've got a headache coming on, that's for sure. ;)
I'm a fairly intelligent person, but there are a few things that my brain has trouble with. I'm not just say this to be silly, or to put myself down; it's a fact. I have trouble processing visual clutter and movement, for one thing. For instance, if I'm driving along, and I'm looking towards the place where I will need to turn soon, and I see some traffic cones, it's hard for me to tell if the cones are blocking my road, or off to the side, or what. Also, I have slow reflexes. So, it takes ALL of my concentration to figure out what's happening and to make the correct, safe choices.
We have a lot of roads around here where you come up to an intersection and it looks like you are supposed to make a simple left turn, but when you get there, you see that it isn't 100% clear which lane to get into, and there's a possibility of accidentally going into oncoming traffic. That probably sounds stupid if you are just picturing some basic intersection in a small town, but I get confused by all of the stuff around me. In fact, I can't even be a passenger in a car in downtown San Francisco without getting all kind of dizzy and discombobulated, because there is SO MUCH visual clutter; it's hard to see where the road goes and where the traffic lights are, let alone stay in your correct lane and not end up being forced off into some place you didn't want to go.
Also, this might sound weird, so I suppose I ought to point out that I'm very mildly autistic, because maybe other people don't experience this--but when I'm driving (and in life in general) I tend to feel like I'm in a bubble. Like I'm in a fish tank, looking out at the world. Sometimes I feel like that more than other times, but always to some extent. Now, I can be driving along, and everything is just fine, and then all of a sudden, sometimes for no discernible reason, I become very aware of that in-the-bubble feeling, and I begin to doubt my ability to process, and react to, this huge amount of external stimuli. The more traffic there is, with cars, pedestrians, right-turn-on-red, left-turn arrows, and all that stuff, the more I begin to doubt my ability to operated my vehicle safely and go where I need to go.
Obviously the program is geared toward a more typical person, but maybe someone out there will relate to this. I understand that getting a derealization feeling is a symptom of anxiety. But when I dig deep and try to get to the core of my personal driving anxieties, I realize that in my personal case, it's the other way around. I get anxious because I become aware of having that feeling, and I realize that it's not conducive to safe driving. My natural state is kind of disconnected, and for years I never gave it a second thought, when I was driving in a small rural area. It's very difficult for me to focus on many different things, and if it becomes too much for me, I tend to zone out and start thinking of Sweeney Todd or something. I'm afraid of that happening while I drive. Although I suppose that would make me like every other person on the road, paying attention to anything but their driving.
Which leads me to one little, teeny, miniscule gripe about the program. It's just a trifle, but I don't see any place in the entire program that acknowledges that you need to operate your vehicle safely and pay attention. I'm sorry, but if I'm on the freeway, and some bozo is driving along side me (here in the Bay Area, we drive up close and personal with each other), I do NOT want him to be doing relaxing neck rolls and dreaming of the waves washing over him. I want him to be looking where the bleep he's going, and being alert and cautious.
Anyway, that's way too much waffling for an introduction. Just wanted to expose myself for the weirdo I am, and say hello to everyone. Cool program so far, for the most part. Rich, I like the audio version. You have a nice, relaxing voice, so that works well. The bi-whatsit-subliminal audio thingy is weird, though. Don't listen to it when you've got a headache coming on, that's for sure. ;)