Hello Everyone

[KimCosby]

Hi everyone. My name is Kim I am 42 years old. I have had panic attacks off and on for about 15 years now. Until recently my only phobia was bridges that went up high and spanned water. That I could live with fairly easily but....I went to a party about 50 miles from home about a month ago without my husband and I had a really bad attack. I managed to get through it and get back to my safety zone. My 13 year old had to hold my hand and tell me to breathe...not a proud moment for a mom! Now I am not wanting to drive on the freeways at all! I have been trying to practice but I am really having to force myself to do it each week. I hope that we can all share ideas for what works and we will all be driving without fear and anxiety soon. I want my freedom back and I am willing to fight for it. I don't know if I'll ever make it to the water spanning bridges again but I will get some level of comfort back for sure. Does anyone have any new ideas on how to build confidence or any suggestions? I'd love to hear from others what works for you. Thanks for sharing!!

[Lupe]

Hi Kim,
My phobia began exactly as yours. It really stinks because I LOVE San Francisco and would love to just jump in my car and go over there with the kids for a night or 2, but I can't because of the Oakland and San Mateo Bridges. I wish I could say those were the only two obstacles but now my phobia has expanded as well and I can't say I could drive the distance to even get to the bridges today it's a 3.5 hr drove one way through major cities such as Berkeley. The freeways get packed.

However, I do want to share a story with you. Even though my phobia has grown, I've been able to drive freely in my city and use the freeway that runs right through it many times a day. Last year, I started my kids at a new school in the middle of town. Using the freeway I arrive in less than 10 minutes but driving across town on the surface streets it takes me anywhere from 25 - 35 minutes. One day my husband joined me to pick them up, he happened to be driving and as he jumped on the freeway, he chooses to tell me that this was the on ramp where most of the accidents occur. Oh, oh!

The next day, I chose not to use the on ramp and started taking the surface roads. I felt like such a failure. I started obsessing daily about whether to take it or not. I began making excuses in my head on why I can't take it "you need to stop at that store, etc." anyway a few days later my husband joined me again but this time I was driving. I chose to jump on the freeway, but instead of merging, I was putting my hand out telling the car behind me to slow down because I knew I was going to be hit (very dangerous). My husband became very nervous and started to coach me on how to merge. That angered me! I know how to merge, I've been driving longer than he has. It was his fault! He should have never shared with me the story of that on-ramp being the most dangerous. I was so angry and frustrated, I cried. The poor guy didn't know what to say or do.

It wasn't his fault. He was just trying to caution me. It was a heads-up but not with me. So, from that point on I made sure I jumped on the freeway; I take a slow breath, say a prayer, slow down and merge. It was tough at first but once I got on, I was fine. I've kept doing it, everyday and it has gotten much, much better just about where I was before. I can't say that I don't think about it at all but I no longer have the mental tug of war of whether to jump on or not. I jump on. Keep pushing yourself, because if you don't it will grow. I realized that if I didn't get back on the on-ramp, my world was going to continue to get smaller and smaller. Don't let that happen.

We will get better. I like what Rich says about when you want to speed up, slow down - tighten up, it's time to relax.

Thank you for sharing your story.
Lupe

[KimCosby]

Hi Lupe:
Thanks for sharing. I know those freeways you are talking about I don't like them at all. I was doing really well with making myself jump on, just as you described but recently there was a fatal accident on the exit I had made it to just the day before (San Leandro, Marina). That really sent me backwards! Yesterday, I went to a couple of the overpasses that bother me and I looked at them from below (on the surface streets) and they really are not that high. So I will try to remember that next time I get back on the freeway. My therapist is going to hypnotize me tomorrow so I am anxious to see if that helps. Thanks for answering my post and good luck to you. I appreciate the information you shared and I wish you well.

Kim

[annie]

I just wanted to say that I can't even imagine driving in the San Francisco area. I can barely drive in Kansas City! Lupe, I'm really curious to know how the hypnosis goes. I've often wondered if that could be the solution to my problem or help a bit. Like most people my phobia started with an isolated event and has now progressed to the point that any situation can cause me to go into a panic. More than anything I worry when another driver is behind me following too close. I'm so afraid that I will slam on my brakes and cause a horrible accident resulting in the deaths of my children. I can't drive in long construction zones anymore because I worry about there being no escape. I know this problem is all in my head but when I'm having these attacks.. it all seems so real and frightening. I don't experience panic in any other situation except the car. I think most people would describe me as calm and levelheaded but almost noone knows that I suffer from this problem. I'll do anything to get out of a situation where I have to drive other people in my car. (except my husband and kids, of course) I simply don't want to risk the embarassment of having a panic attack when another person is driving with me.

Does anyone else ever respond to an attack by braking? How does one talk themselves out of doing this because I'd sure like to know. Thanks so much, Rich for this Fear of Drving forum. It's nice to know that I'm not alone.

annie

[annie]

I realized that it is Kim, not Lupe, who is going to a hypnotist. Sorry to both. I hope this works out for you Kim. I've known a couple of people who tried this approach for quitting smoking and it worked! I hope it works for you, Kim. Keep us posted.

annie

[Jim]

I just wanted to say that I can't even imagine driving in the San Francisco area. I can barely drive in Kansas City! Lupe, I'm really curious to know how the hypnosis goes. I've often wondered if that could be the solution to my problem or help a bit. Like most people my phobia started with an isolated event and has now progressed to the point that any situation can cause me to go into a panic. More than anything I worry when another driver is behind me following too close. I'm so afraid that I will slam on my brakes and cause a horrible accident resulting in the deaths of my children. I can't drive in long construction zones anymore because I worry about there being no escape. I know this problem is all in my head but when I'm having these attacks.. it all seems so real and frightening. I don't experience panic in any other situation except the car. I think most people would describe me as calm and levelheaded but almost noone knows that I suffer from this problem. I'll do anything to get out of a situation where I have to drive other people in my car. (except my husband and kids, of course) I simply don't want to risk the embarassment of having a panic attack when another person is driving with me.

Does anyone else ever respond to an attack by braking? How does one talk themselves out of doing this because I'd sure like to know. Thanks so much, Rich for this Fear of Drving forum. It's nice to know that I'm not alone.

annie

Annie,

Yes, I also brake when a panic attack hits me. I usually do this when I get lightheaded and tapping the brake reminds me I have some control.

[jrojb]

WOW, I thought I was the only one that braked when I was in complete horror. The fear was so overwhelming that I just wanted to stop and braked. Then one day I was driving with my daughter and could have ended up in my worse nightmare of a terrible accident. So, I stopped braking and began to signal and pull over anywhere and everywhere I could. Then I took the plunge and join th FOD program. I no longer brake when driving locally or make 5 minute stops every two minutes. My comute has now gotten a whole lot better. I attempted the highway once and it was not as easy as I hoped, but I know that one day I will be able to do it. You will too. Keep positive and do not let one, two or four bad days get in your way. We are entittled to have bad days, we're only human.

[Rich Presta]

Great outlook jrojb! That's attitude has a lot to do with your success!

Rich