elderwanda
01-28-2010, 10:42 PM
I was doing pretty well, and then a tiny thing happened.
I pulled out of my garage, got onto the main road, and checked my side mirror as I moved into the left lane. The mirror had been folded in, so instead of seeing the reflection I was expecting, I saw the side of my mirror. I had this little moment of panic. It's silly, but it's real.
Ever since then, the anxiety is back, and I can only go certain places.
I don't actually have any thoughts about it, I'm not getting a visual image in my mind of some bad thing happening. I'm not verbalizing to myself, "this is going to happen, and then this, and then this..."
I'm not even sure what I'm afraid of. I can't even go down the simple road that I used to drive down, or any place that doesn't have somewhere to pull over. I'm been trying to do the ROAD thing, but the jittery nervous feeling is so awful, I just can't. I'll be feeling fine, and then that feeling hits me, and it feels so strong, I feel like I'm going to float away. It makes me feel like I'm driving under the influence of something, and being a hazard.
So now, instead of picking up my kid from school, he's got to walk halfway to meet me. He's alright, except his backpack is often so heavy that it hurts his back, so I feel bad. And a few days ago he had to walk through hail and lightening. And my husband has to take time off work to get us them to a dental appointment.
I went out driving today, but didn't make much progress. I still think this is a great program, though. It did work once. It's just that the panic keeps coming back.
One thing that would help is if I could play music in my car. I don't have a CD player, and my radio only gets the talk station. If they are talking about something fun or interesting, that helps a little.
Anyway....I hope everyone is having a good day, and getting over their driving fears nicely.
I pulled out of my garage, got onto the main road, and checked my side mirror as I moved into the left lane. The mirror had been folded in, so instead of seeing the reflection I was expecting, I saw the side of my mirror. I had this little moment of panic. It's silly, but it's real.
Ever since then, the anxiety is back, and I can only go certain places.
I don't actually have any thoughts about it, I'm not getting a visual image in my mind of some bad thing happening. I'm not verbalizing to myself, "this is going to happen, and then this, and then this..."
I'm not even sure what I'm afraid of. I can't even go down the simple road that I used to drive down, or any place that doesn't have somewhere to pull over. I'm been trying to do the ROAD thing, but the jittery nervous feeling is so awful, I just can't. I'll be feeling fine, and then that feeling hits me, and it feels so strong, I feel like I'm going to float away. It makes me feel like I'm driving under the influence of something, and being a hazard.
So now, instead of picking up my kid from school, he's got to walk halfway to meet me. He's alright, except his backpack is often so heavy that it hurts his back, so I feel bad. And a few days ago he had to walk through hail and lightening. And my husband has to take time off work to get us them to a dental appointment.
I went out driving today, but didn't make much progress. I still think this is a great program, though. It did work once. It's just that the panic keeps coming back.
One thing that would help is if I could play music in my car. I don't have a CD player, and my radio only gets the talk station. If they are talking about something fun or interesting, that helps a little.
Anyway....I hope everyone is having a good day, and getting over their driving fears nicely.