emma2049
03-26-2010, 04:36 AM
Ok, so now I've had 2 x 2hr sessions, and 1 x 1hr session with a driving instructor after being away from the wheel for 7-8 years. I've been driving with the hubby at weekends, which is going well! In fact, so well that he let me drive her back from a birthday party on a fairly major road last weekend. I know he wouldn't let me do that if he felt I wasn't going to keep her safe.
What he didn't know was the level of panic I felt, just having her there in the back seat. It struck me that it was the first time in her life that I'd been in charge of the car with her in it - she's 6 - and that it was ME who was totally responsible for her getting the 3 miles home. Ugh, I felt horrible. Tingly, short of breath, sweaty. Pfff. That's what finally pushed me to order the ebook online tonight. Whatever happens, I need to make sure my children feel that Mommy is keeping them safe and sound.
I had an awful driving lesson last week, that really shook me. The instructor took me on an incredibly twisty, windy coastal road (which is famous in the US for being a challenge). The lesson lasted for two hours, but after an hour of it, I fell apart. Tears, shaking, sweating, shallow breathing, total panic. It was so intense, and went on for so long, I just couldn't take any more. I felt like all the confidence I'd gained for the last few weeks went out the window. I managed to gain control and continue the lesson, but I felt I totally reverted backwards and let my anxiety and intensity really overcome me.
I've got so much pressure on me to get my license and to be mobile. At the moment, I'm really relying on others to second guess my decisions while driving, and it's reassuring. I don't know if I can actually envision myself getting in the car by myself (and my kids) and driving to wherever we need to be that day. Does anyone have any tips to help me see past the point of getting my US license? I have a UK one, but to be honest, it was a fluke that day, I really shouldn't have been passed due to my anxiety. I'd already given in mentally to my driving anxiety, and instead of feeling excited and liberated about passing, I just felt a horrible sinking in my stomach that it was all up to me now. That feeling never really went away, and it's still sitting like a huge elephant on my shoulder :( I've got to sort this, otherwise I'll never try again, I don't think. My 14 year old will be driving soon. I don't want to pass my driving anxiety on to her (like my Mother did to both me and my sister), but also, I don't want her driving me around!!!
What he didn't know was the level of panic I felt, just having her there in the back seat. It struck me that it was the first time in her life that I'd been in charge of the car with her in it - she's 6 - and that it was ME who was totally responsible for her getting the 3 miles home. Ugh, I felt horrible. Tingly, short of breath, sweaty. Pfff. That's what finally pushed me to order the ebook online tonight. Whatever happens, I need to make sure my children feel that Mommy is keeping them safe and sound.
I had an awful driving lesson last week, that really shook me. The instructor took me on an incredibly twisty, windy coastal road (which is famous in the US for being a challenge). The lesson lasted for two hours, but after an hour of it, I fell apart. Tears, shaking, sweating, shallow breathing, total panic. It was so intense, and went on for so long, I just couldn't take any more. I felt like all the confidence I'd gained for the last few weeks went out the window. I managed to gain control and continue the lesson, but I felt I totally reverted backwards and let my anxiety and intensity really overcome me.
I've got so much pressure on me to get my license and to be mobile. At the moment, I'm really relying on others to second guess my decisions while driving, and it's reassuring. I don't know if I can actually envision myself getting in the car by myself (and my kids) and driving to wherever we need to be that day. Does anyone have any tips to help me see past the point of getting my US license? I have a UK one, but to be honest, it was a fluke that day, I really shouldn't have been passed due to my anxiety. I'd already given in mentally to my driving anxiety, and instead of feeling excited and liberated about passing, I just felt a horrible sinking in my stomach that it was all up to me now. That feeling never really went away, and it's still sitting like a huge elephant on my shoulder :( I've got to sort this, otherwise I'll never try again, I don't think. My 14 year old will be driving soon. I don't want to pass my driving anxiety on to her (like my Mother did to both me and my sister), but also, I don't want her driving me around!!!