Not able to drive kids to class

[Adela]

Hi, I have put my introduction under the introducton thread.

FYI, I have started this program for about two weeks and now I can drive comfortably to work. The distance is about 10km.
But, yesterday I was supposed to drive my kids to their additional class, in the evening, which is about 15km away from home (suburb area). for this trip, I must take a route which is dark (60% of the road is in jungle). Thinking of the 'emptiness' of the road made me anxious. I started thinking what would happen to me and the kids if I had panick attack in the middle of the driving and no one would help us, we would be left alone, and I would be in such a horrifying state. My heart started to beat faster, kinda lightheaded.
Then I did what most people like me did. I cancelled the trip. I told my kids that I was not well to drive them to the class.

At first, I felt relief coz I could be in my comfort zone again, but shortly after that I felt like a jerk. Some part of my mind screaming and telling me what a LOSER I was. I felt guilty to my kinds for not able to be a 'mother' to them.

Many times I feel strong and confident that I can pass this test. But when the event comes near, I start to chicken out.
I do not to be feeling like a loser. Help me.

[stevo2265]

don't lose hope Adela. it takes time and plenty of patience to overcome this. there will be good days and bad, but learn from both. try to mentally prepare youself everytime you drive. just keep thinking- i can do this. i can overcome this fear. its not easy pushing yourself to drive those trouble spots, but you have to force yourself to. don't give up!

[elderwanda]

((hugs)) I also have trouble driving my kids to school, and I know how that feels. I was doing okay, and then a few days ago there were roadworks, and it looked like I was going to have no choice but to turn left onto the street that terrifies me most. It's one of those streets where, once you're on it, you're stuck for a long time (long enough for hands and feet to go totally numb! I know from experience). You can't pull over anywhere, you have to keep driving no matter how you feel. I All I could think was about how I would have to stop the car in the middle of the road, call AAA and pay to be towed. How ridiculous is that?

When I got to the intersection, I saw that I would be able to make my right turn after all (PHEW!!), but that experience brought back all those horrible, jittery feelings.

Anyway, just know you aren't alone. I know we can both get over this. The ROAD technique worked for me once, and I was able to drive in places where I hadn't been able to go. I ended up having a setback several months ago (separate from this one), and haven't gotten through that yet. I know it's possible, though.

Best of luck. Let us know how it goes.

Evelyn