Ive resigned myself now

[jamie789]

Hi everyone. Ive never posted here before and i just felt i should share my experience with a group of people who might understand.

I'm 26 years old and i still cant drive, in the UK by the way. Dont worry its not a case of trying to learn for 9 years and setting some sort of record for amount of lessons.

I first tried at 17 like most other people, but really hated it, the instructor was horrible, i had no confidence, i hated driving, i'd get so angry and frustrated the day before a lesson, i ended up dreading the car pulling up but fortunatley after 7 lessons i ran out of money and couldnt continue it.

It wasnt until i was 21 that i was able to afford to have another shot at it, and i'd not driven a car in any capacity in the meantime, only to find out nothing had changed. I get nervous behind the wheel, panic attacks, i hate driving over 40mph, even on the A Roads with a speed limit of 70 and people doing 85 as you'd expect. I just cant handle speed, i cant handle roundabouts, i get so freaked out by them i dont understand them and if i was to drive anywhere i'd try my best to take routes without them. Ive attempted the theory test 4 times and failed it despite having one of those BSM Computer programs with tests on it, i never passed one on their either.

I had a lesson in my second batch at 21 where i went to do a simple right turn in a deserted back road and ended up stalling the car and ending up on the pavement, and i just got so fed up that i actually got out of the car and walked off, and i never did go back, that was my last lesson i ever had.

And now at 26, ive got people still telling me i need to do it, whats annoying is my Dad is a natural driver and passed first time in 1977. My Mother passed first time after just five lessons. My best friend took his test in 2006 and passed at the second attempt. I dont know anybody with the same problems and they all say its all in my head and that its a piece of cake.

But d'you know what? I run my business online (no car needed for that), i still live with my parents and if i drastically need a car to get somewhere one of them will do it for me, not that its required too often if at all.

And i just really dont care anymore. Ive now decided to stop worrying about it and stop trying. It doesnt matter. And since ive decided that ive been a much calmer more approachable person.

Im not saying people on here should give up, if you need/want to do it then fair enough, go for it, hope you do well, but ive decided to give it up now. Probably best for everyone involved, took me 4 minutes to pull out of a sideroad once because i kept stalling it, and found a way to crash into my own fence. So you really dont want me on the road.

Thanks for reading, if you did read, i stopped listening to myself 10 minutes ago.

Jamie

[kingtim]

Jamie,

I applaud your ability to make things work. You found your method and have been able to be successful with it.

Still, I might suggest that you give it another try. The reason is that, thinking from my perspective, I would always wonder if I was capable of it.

You could try it with small steps. First, just get a friend to bring you to a parking lot with no obstructions. Just practice moving the car without stalling it. That should be fine for day 1.

On the next day, try the exact same thing! That simple.

On your third day, go to the same parking lot. Try parking in a space, making turns around a parking line and more. Opt never to go, on this day, over 15 mph.

Continue with this plan. Set very small yet specific and achievable goals. If you went 15 mph that day, choose 17 mph the next day. Small changes, over time, amount to huge developments. The pyramids were not built in a day...

Never do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. If you did, it would allow the fear to take control. Instead, always stay in your comfort zone, but challenge it just slightly towards the end of the session.

I would still respect you if you did not run through this plan. Still, I encourage you to try it. It will boost your confidence and show you what you are really made of.

I know you can do it! Cheers!