yacketycat
11-08-2008, 04:57 AM
Hi all,
I honestly can't remember if I've posted on here yet, but due to lack of time, I'm going to repost the letter I sent to Rich just now.... short background is, I moved cross-country (towing my car, of course!) after a few years of driving fear. Sad, as I once made a movie where a subplot was how much I liked to drive. I found the program online, got it and - well, you'll pretty much get the rest from this... and please keep in mind that a little over a year ago, I was stopped in the right-hand lane of Summit St. in Toledo, Ohio (not a quiet street, mind you, but a major thoroughfare) with my hazards on, doubled over in terror on the passenger seat, crying and calling anyone I could find to talk to me just so I could drive 20 more feet and pull over, and digging in my purse for Xanax. Really, REALLY bad.
Oh yeah: the day I found the program? I'd just been unable to pick up my boyfriend's son in the rain from his friend's house... four houses down a small side road. I got in the car and immediately hurled. Talk about rock bottom... -AKW
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I owe a lot to your program. Even more than I did before. And that's a gross understatement. I moved into town in Houston, and within a week, got a new job because I was able to drive to the interview. (A little anxious at times, believe me, but the Red Sock technique and reminding myself that my body was just reacting to an imagined fear got me over those bridges and such!). In fact, the only reason I moved was because of the price of gas, and because I didn't like the town I was in - NOT because of the driving! I, who could some days not manage a 0.25 mile commute in Toledo, Ohio, now drive six miles every day each way in the most horrendous traffic you could imagine to a great job that I love. And, when I'm not there, I go exploring in my new wonderful neighborhood. The more I drive, the more I get used to it!
There have been a couple of milestones so far... the first was just getting my car down here, from the little far-flung town I'd been in. 45 miles. 45!! That's more than I've driven since 2002. Granted, I was following my boyfriend, and we took the highway "feeder" the whole way, but it was really something to me. Then, last night, one of my best friends (who is a flight attendant) announced that she had a layover in Houston. Six months ago, I would have found a way to get out of it, as this was going to be a giant hour-long drive to the airport - alone, with no one to follow this time. However, I did my little Google map thing (my car is loaded with them these days, lol), and even after getting lost about ten times, I made it there. We had a wonderful time, and I felt great about myself for being able to do it. I even drove her and the crew several more miles to a restaurant I loved and wanted to take them to. She was so impressed, because she has seen me through my driving fear for the past year and a half. It was fantastic.
What's more, this has helped my general agoraphobia tremendously. Before I moved, I wondered if I could go to the grocery store by myself. Now, I find myself like any other shopper on a work night, wondering only if I'm ever going to get through the list and the checkout before I fall asleep!
I've found a couple of things that work for me: one is music. I can't stress the importance of music enough. There are days where I think I'm not going to make it, when I think I'm going to slip back, and then I put the right song on and start singing along and I get there. Music therapy is highly underrated! And in a more extreme sense, at times I have to shout at myself, particularly in heavy traffic. I turned it political this week, and when I was stuck on an overpass in construction with people slowly weaving in and out of the two available lanes, I kept shouting "YES I CAN! YES I CAN!" Hee hee.
Thank you again - it's been slow going, but I'm certainly making progress, thanks to you! If it weren't for you, I'd still be living in the boonies and I wouldn't have the great job, great apartment and great life I have now!
Amanda
P.S. Rich, there was one thing I forgot to mention in my email - after I got lost a lot last night, I made the decision to invest in a GPS. Another friend of mine who has driving fear outside her "comfort zone" got one, and when I went with her on a long drive one day, she found it helped calm her tremendously in this weird city. The great thing is, because I'm getting the GPS - and roadside assistance through my insurance company - that means I've made the subconscious commitment to keep on getting to places I want to go, even in my crappy car! :) Next investment will be a new car... but that's another thing for another time. My deal is that I'll reward myself with that when my bank account is solid and I am comfortable on highways again!
I honestly can't remember if I've posted on here yet, but due to lack of time, I'm going to repost the letter I sent to Rich just now.... short background is, I moved cross-country (towing my car, of course!) after a few years of driving fear. Sad, as I once made a movie where a subplot was how much I liked to drive. I found the program online, got it and - well, you'll pretty much get the rest from this... and please keep in mind that a little over a year ago, I was stopped in the right-hand lane of Summit St. in Toledo, Ohio (not a quiet street, mind you, but a major thoroughfare) with my hazards on, doubled over in terror on the passenger seat, crying and calling anyone I could find to talk to me just so I could drive 20 more feet and pull over, and digging in my purse for Xanax. Really, REALLY bad.
Oh yeah: the day I found the program? I'd just been unable to pick up my boyfriend's son in the rain from his friend's house... four houses down a small side road. I got in the car and immediately hurled. Talk about rock bottom... -AKW
----------------------
I owe a lot to your program. Even more than I did before. And that's a gross understatement. I moved into town in Houston, and within a week, got a new job because I was able to drive to the interview. (A little anxious at times, believe me, but the Red Sock technique and reminding myself that my body was just reacting to an imagined fear got me over those bridges and such!). In fact, the only reason I moved was because of the price of gas, and because I didn't like the town I was in - NOT because of the driving! I, who could some days not manage a 0.25 mile commute in Toledo, Ohio, now drive six miles every day each way in the most horrendous traffic you could imagine to a great job that I love. And, when I'm not there, I go exploring in my new wonderful neighborhood. The more I drive, the more I get used to it!
There have been a couple of milestones so far... the first was just getting my car down here, from the little far-flung town I'd been in. 45 miles. 45!! That's more than I've driven since 2002. Granted, I was following my boyfriend, and we took the highway "feeder" the whole way, but it was really something to me. Then, last night, one of my best friends (who is a flight attendant) announced that she had a layover in Houston. Six months ago, I would have found a way to get out of it, as this was going to be a giant hour-long drive to the airport - alone, with no one to follow this time. However, I did my little Google map thing (my car is loaded with them these days, lol), and even after getting lost about ten times, I made it there. We had a wonderful time, and I felt great about myself for being able to do it. I even drove her and the crew several more miles to a restaurant I loved and wanted to take them to. She was so impressed, because she has seen me through my driving fear for the past year and a half. It was fantastic.
What's more, this has helped my general agoraphobia tremendously. Before I moved, I wondered if I could go to the grocery store by myself. Now, I find myself like any other shopper on a work night, wondering only if I'm ever going to get through the list and the checkout before I fall asleep!
I've found a couple of things that work for me: one is music. I can't stress the importance of music enough. There are days where I think I'm not going to make it, when I think I'm going to slip back, and then I put the right song on and start singing along and I get there. Music therapy is highly underrated! And in a more extreme sense, at times I have to shout at myself, particularly in heavy traffic. I turned it political this week, and when I was stuck on an overpass in construction with people slowly weaving in and out of the two available lanes, I kept shouting "YES I CAN! YES I CAN!" Hee hee.
Thank you again - it's been slow going, but I'm certainly making progress, thanks to you! If it weren't for you, I'd still be living in the boonies and I wouldn't have the great job, great apartment and great life I have now!
Amanda
P.S. Rich, there was one thing I forgot to mention in my email - after I got lost a lot last night, I made the decision to invest in a GPS. Another friend of mine who has driving fear outside her "comfort zone" got one, and when I went with her on a long drive one day, she found it helped calm her tremendously in this weird city. The great thing is, because I'm getting the GPS - and roadside assistance through my insurance company - that means I've made the subconscious commitment to keep on getting to places I want to go, even in my crappy car! :) Next investment will be a new car... but that's another thing for another time. My deal is that I'll reward myself with that when my bank account is solid and I am comfortable on highways again!