If driving isn't bad enough all by itself...here comes snow!

Hi!
My name is Missy, I'm 29 years old and I live in Painesville, Ohio. I've never driven on the freeway outside of my comfort zone (about a 25 mile freeway radius), but in the last year I haven't been able to drive on the freeway at all. The panic attacks I've suffered from since I was a kid have gotten worse over time. Although I'm slightly better in the car if someone else drives, it still stresses me out. I've been in therapy for YEARS about all of this and used to be on medication (that proved pretty worthless) for a long time too.

I have a pretty illogical fear of dying and when I'm driving and am driving and 'in the moment of panic', I'm certain I'm going to die and that my body will just float up to the heavens right then and there (which also makes me scared because I'm afraid of heights and don't want to imagine any part of me floating anywhere).

I think about driving pretty much all day long and worry about how my next driving experience will be. I worry about driving to work (which is about 17 miles away) when I'm at home and I worry about driving home when I'm at work. I have a GREAT job, went to college (locally of course), paid for college myself, bought my condo when I was 21...get the picture? I'm a very smart and capable person....it's just this dang driving thing that's holding me back.

I am reading the Fear of Driving Program, but am struggling with it. This summer I decided to quit smoking and so I read this book about quitting smoking and within an hour I had made the decision to quit smoking and haven't smoked since. Quitting smoking was SOOOOOOOOO darn easy compared to driving my car. It was a BREEZE and I just wish I could attack my fear of driving in the same way.

But I digress...
So...I'm a stressball...can you tell? To top it all off...IT'S SNOWING LIKE CRAZY HERE!!! The roads are covered, slippery, and wet with snow. I've got a big hill and an overpass to tackle in the morning. I have been thinking about it for hours and hours...I don't know HOW IN THE WORLD I'm going to get to work in the morning. Like I said before...my driving fear has increased in the last year and I used to not stress out about the snow...but now I'm freaking out.
Sending an SOS.....

[Busker]

Hey Missy, Rev Kev from New Zealand... how on earth did you give up smoking? I'm getting way better at driving but I havn't managed to give up the other! :) You have gotta be a winner!!!
It sounds like you've been battling with this for a long while and I sympathise completely but look you havn't died so your fears are totally unfounded ... but you know that. You really need to GIVE UP the battle. Do try not to worry all day about the next driving episode, I used to to the same it only increases your anxiety.
For me I just practiced and practiced and practiced increasing my distance gradually and gave in to all the horrible feelings associated with the panic ...and guess what...nothing bad happened, in fact anxiety began to decrease. RAPIDLY
Each time your able to do this it just gets better and better, even setbacks don't bother me anymore because I know I have the ability to overcome ..and you do too. This thing is driven by FEAR so let go, do not be afraid of "feelings" they can do you no harm!
I ride a Harley and had this horrible fear of passing out, ...and then of course dying ,used to feel very dizzy and dissasociated from what was going on. I'm not totally over it but it ain't stopping me any more because it dosn't scare me anymore...it's lost it's power!
Everyone has to take it easy in the snow ...take it as easy as you have to.
I for one wish you very well.
Rev Kev

Rev Kev,
Hey thanks for the reply! You are absolutely right...they are just feelings...but boy...those feelings are so REAL! The thing is...people keep telling me to practice...but I've worked at the same place for 11 years and I STILL have a hard time driving there. 11 years is a lot of practice!!!!!!
Quitting smoking was so easy!!!! I heard about this book (The Easy Way to Stop Smoking by Allen Carr) and read it and it made perfect sense to me (plus I was ready to quit!) and so in a matter of hours I changed my life and haven't smoked since!!!!
Maybe I'm not ready to fix this driving problem?

[Busker]

Hey thanks for the reply! You are absolutely right...they are just feelings...but boy...those feelings are so REAL! [quote

Yep Missy I know those feelings seem very real but the body sensations are only there coz your brain is telling your body they are real! (This is coming from a guy who gripped the handlebars so tight it was painful, and was totally freaked out by the feelings associated with the panic,I felt like Mr.Wobbly -I could barely ride around the block after my initial panic episode )

If you start believing there is nothing to fear, it's not easy but if you start seeing the feelings/thoughts as an exaggerated lie and begin to correct those cognitive errors it can only get better.
I've found by questioning the lie I can come up with logical answers that put things back in perspective, therebye reducing fear/anxiety.

Hey I know what works for someone, dosn't necessarily work for someone else ...so what do you do at the onset of panic?
How did you go in the snow?
If you google Neil Sidemans panic cure site there's a wealth of great info, also that I found very helpful. (I don't think Rich will mind me saying that because I found it through his Free Stuff page) :D
I will have to get hold of that book on stop smoking... Your right you do have to wanna quit ...whatever it is. :)

Kind regards
Rev Kev

[Rich-Admin]

Doesn't bother me at all.....this is the "fear of driving" forum, not the "Diving Fear Program" forum, so talk about anything and everything you want, including other material, programs, etc. (mine's the best, I know that, so I'm not worried :D )

Neil's a great guy, he's part of the interview series. Aww heck...I'll do you one better....here it is...

Neil's Interview with Rich (http://drivingfear.s3.amazonaws.com/Driving%20Fear%20Audio/NeilSidemanInterviewmp3.mp3)

Right click and download.

Rich

It wasn't as snowy on Monday morning as I thought it would be...but I still kinda freaked out and ended up calling a coworker to take me the rest of the way. (She lives about halfway from my house to my office.) So that was a tad upsetting...
BUT...
Tuesday (today) was snowier...and I decided to drive myself! I played the theme to Austin Powers (lol...I know...silly but VERY uplifting) in my car over and over and danced in the car on my way to work. I had a panic attack at my usual spot (right before the overpass) but managed to continue dancing over the rest of the overpass. I made it home in one piece in the afternoon as well.
Last night..I started a new strategy. I turned to youtube.com and found video after video of people driving over bridges. Tons of people have filmed themselves from the inside of cars going over bridges (who knew?) Now...I HATE bridges and even seeing them on TV/movie/internet/magazine/whatever makes me queasy...but i FORCED myself to watch the videos online for hours last night. At first I started getting panicky watching the videos but after awhile I was able to relax a bit. I took the opportunity to desensitize myself a bit and retrain my thoughts. My house is my safe place (especially my large comfy couch!) and so I was able to really take my time, think, rationalize, and 'get through' the bridges without actually having to go out. (Hey...it's a step for me!) It was a sort of live action thought popping activity. I REALLY liked it...and it made me feel like for ONCE I could practice some strategies in a 'safe' environment instead of fumbling through the strategies in the midst of a panic attack.
Thoughts??

I've tried many strategies at the onset of panic. I've tried to force myself NOT to panic...but I know I shouldn't try to control it....(according to my therapist and Rich...lol). I've tried listening to music to sing. Singing helps sometimes because it forces me to breathe..and hey..breathing is the secret to life! I've tried calling people on the phone to distract myself. I've tried deep breathing (but that's VERY hard when you can feel a panic attack coming on). Deep breathing is hard for me at onset of panic because I still feel like I am trying to control the panic attack with the breathing....and I don't want to control the attack...I want to handle it better.
However, it wasn't until recently that I discovered some new things. Lately, I've been focusing on being very self aware. In the program, Rich talks about paying attention to how tense your body gets before and during panic. So...I have been checking my jaw, arms, hands, etc and relaxing them. I've also been reassuring myself during the drive that I am safe, a good driver, and that my mind is playing tricks on me, and that I may get some funny feelings but that nothing will hurt me.

Thanks for the info to you and Rich about Neil Sidemans. I will DEFINITELY look into it!

[Busker]

Hey Missy sounds all good to me... you done GREAT in the snow! I do the relaxation thing too when I notice I'm tensing up... Austin Powers well whatever makes you happy! :lol:
...and the video/desensitizing idea can only help to relax you...all great stuff, keep on going!
-Kev

Rev Kev,
I had a GREAT ride to and from work today! I was only a little nervous. I was able to keep my head clearer and less anxious than I have in a long time. I don't know why...but I thought about your advice on my drive and it made it all easier for me!
Missy

[Busker]

Hi Missy, well girl that is great news I am so pleased for ya. I am glad if I've been any help to you.
You just keep on going! I look forward to hearing your progress.
- you're a winner- Rev Kev

The weather is soooooooooo awful today....gotta drive in the morning...
I think I can
I think I can
I think I can
I think I can
I think I can
I'll do it...and I'll be great!